26A – Celebrating Failure

This semester I failed an accounting exam in ACG2071. On Exam 1, scored a 63.33. Not to sound arrogant, but I have a hard time accepting anything less than a “B”. What made it so bad is that I actually studied for the test. I put hours into taking notes, watching lectures and doing problems. I tried to understand the underlying concepts and memorize important equations. But when I took the exam, I got lost in the questions. My brain just locked up and I had to fight to get answers that I feel should have been workable.

The problem I have been having recently, is the same problem that I had last summer with accounting. I took ACG2021 and found out the class is not easy. I didn’t expect for it to be easy, but I did not expect for it to give me the problems that it did. It was especially aggravating that my exams scores went down as the semester progressed. I couldn’t understand it. The more time I put in, the worse it got. I ended up getting a “C+” when I definitely should have gotten at least a low “B”.

What I learned from this experience is that I needed to find a different way to study. I have tried several methods before this failing grade and my scores kept getting lower. But I recently had a breakthrough. On Exam 2 in ACG2071, I got a 73.33, and it was tougher than Exam 1. I did have an extra week to study thanks to COVID-19, and in that week a found a way to study that works for me. I usually don’t have a problem studying something on my own. I found in this case I needed to study differently for this subject. For accounting, I need a lot of reps to be good at it.

Failure really doesn’t bother me if I know I can get better; and I know I can always improve. In fact, I have learned failing fast is a good strategy to learn something. If I take a risk, it is a calculated risk. I am not the type of person to do something on impulse. Failure bothers me emotionally when there is something at stake which I value. Playing a pickup game of basketball and losing doesn’t bother me unless I am really trying to win, or I feel embarrassed. I’m an emotionally stable person and my behavior doesn’t become erratic or unstable under stress. But if I feel lost or incapable of accomplishing a task, I do not do as well.

This class has not changed my perspective on failure. In fact, it has reinforced it. My view of failure is like my view of golf. In golf, you have to approximate your way to success because hitting the perfect shot is too difficult to do on command. But you can hit the ball pretty close to where you want to be until you get it in the hole. But sometimes, you will hit that perfect shot and all the other failures fade away.